The Four Loves: Eros

I think that Lewis makes some good points in this chapter, although his logic at times was very confusing. One good point he makes is that eros love that someone has is centered on the other person, not just the sex that can be attained from him or her. Loving someone solely for sex, in my opinion, does not deserve the title of love at all, but instead should simply be called a desire. Lewis bluntly says that a man who wants this wants "a pleasure for which a woman happens to be a necessary piece of apparatus." These kinds of relationships do not last, and most of the time occur as fantasies. True eros love, while it usually includes sexual desire, is an intimate love between two people that is centered on each other.

Another point I agreed with was that people can become too obsessed with eros. Eros love can drive people to push their own well-being, that of their friends, and their relationship with God off to the side. While it is good for two people to sincerely love each other, it is important that they don't lose hold of the rest of their lives in the process. I have seen people with relationships drift away from their friends, focusing entirely on their boyfriend or girlfriend. Failed relationships can drive some people to do foolish things, with a few committing suicide. We need to keep our relationships in perspective.

I also think that Lewis had a good point when he said that eros love is not naturally permanent and that it needs to be maintained. Married people tend to lose the intensity of their eros love after they have been married for a while. Many couples experience this and get divorced because of it. Married people need to understand that they won't always be feeling that intense eros love for each other. They should try to maintain it as well as they can, but they need to develop a longer lasting love that involves all four of the loves that Lewis talks about in this book. Most importantly, they need to keep God at the center of their relationship.